Todd M. Siebert: The WIRE: Your week in review

From Orlando to Afghanistan — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest^® presents: The WIRE!

Following apparently-gay, likely-registered-Democrat, assuredly-ISIS-inspired and definitely-Muslim terrorist Omar Mateen’s attack on Orlando’s Pulse nightclub, Democrats identified the real killers: white, conservative, gun-owning, law-abiding Christians.

I can see the resemblance.

West Virginia Democrat Senator Joe Manchin blamed another unlikely culprit – the right to Due Process; leading to confusion among liberals and media flacks who didn’t know what “Due Process” means.

It’s one of those silly Constitution thingies. Like freeing the slaves and letting women vote.

Speaking of violating Due Process, the left resurrected their insistence that being on the so-called “no fly list” should disqualify American citizens from actually having a right to Due Process. You mean the one that didn’t catch Mateen?

“Works for me. The FBI cleared me three separate times.”

How ineffective is the no-fly list? The late Senator Ted Kennedy was on it because the government had him confused with an entirely different Ted Kennedy.

Come to think of it, it’s too bad there wasn’t a no-drive list.

While supposedly mourning the victims of the Muslim terrorist’s attack, Obama blamed guns, again, in a partisan rant which he substituted for a eulogy. One of these days he’s just gonna use the victims’ bodies as props.

“Too soon? But it worked after Benghazi!”

House Democrats shocked their Republican counterparts by shouting down an effort to show solemn solidarity with the victims of the terrorist attack in Orlando. Democrats think LGBT lives mean less than Islamic terrorists’ feelings? Who knew?

Of course, they are the same people who booed God.

LGBT people across the nation are responding to Orlando in a surprisingly smart way – they’re arming themselves. A gay-friendly gun group, the Pink Pistols, saw a 2,000-member surge in the days following the attack; and these combination Gadsden/rainbow-flag signs began appearing… even in California.

Well, since the Feds were doing such a bang-up job keeping gays safe…

Obama also claimed “soul-searching” is necessary. This from the guy who trafficked weapons to the Sinaloa Cartel and then lied about it to Congress and the American people.

After “soul-searching,” we’ve decided we regret electing you president.

Vice President Joe Biden got a rare treat: the chance to join Obama on his Orlando grave dancing tour… albeit in separate jets.

“Forget about the carbon footprint. And for Allah’s sake, keep that shotgun-blasts-off-the-porch advice to yourself this time.”

Obama’s craven exploitation of the Orlando memorial went a step further, even suggesting the victims of the Islamic terrorist attack on an LGBT nightclub would have been worse if the intended victims had been armed.

“A good guy with a gun can’t stop a bad guy with a gun unless I say they can!”

Ex-game show host Anderson Cooper used his soapbox this week to “confront” Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi over supposed complicity in the Orlando attack; Cooper claimed her representation of Florida citizens’ wishes fueled anti-LGBTQ violence.

It’s her job, genius. Kinda like journalism is supposed to be yours.

Multiple “journalists” decided to “prove” how easy it was to purchase a firearm by going into gun stores, passing background checks and handing over around a thousand bucks for an AR-15.

You mean you didn’t break the law so you were able to do something which isn’t illegal? Stop the presses!

Although an AR-15 wasn’t used in Mateen’s Orlando rampage, New York Daily News tabloid writer Gersh Kuntzman took the step of firing one at a gun range; an experience he described as “horrifying, menacing and very loud,” which he claims caused him “temporary PTSD.”

This daisy makes the Obamacare “pajama boy” look like Rambo.

Of course, the sudden rush of gun-buying journalists and anti-liberty remarks by Democrats just happened to coincide with a spike in gun sales. Every time they threaten gun rights, gun purchases go up. Weird.

They didn’t cover much in the way of supply-and-demand economics in community-organizer school.

Dylan Matthews, a writer for parody news site Vox, even proposed Obama move unilaterally to eliminate the Bill of Rights by executive decree. At least, I think Vox is a parody news site; the real ones usually don’t hire people who forget the president isn’t a king.

Either Hogwart’s has relaxed admission standards, or the years have not been kind to Harry Potter.

It appears Russian hackers connected to those who penetrated Hillary Clinton’s illegally non-secure “home brew” server during her time as Secretary of State recently gained access to the Democrat National Committee’s servers.

“We am becoming… how you say… missing crazy old bathroom server lady.”

Imaginary sniper-dodger Hillary Clinton moved closer to naming pretend-Native-American Elizabeth Warren her running mate.

Nana/Fauxcahontas 2016 — Make America Fake Again!

Obama went back to his “safe space” Tuesday, claiming that “It’s now been a full year since ISIL has been able to mount a major successful offensive operation in either Syria or Iraq.”

It’s now been less than a full week since ISIL has been able to mount a major successful offensive operation in the U.S.

Despite Obama’s imagined victories against ISIS, CIA Director John Brennan told Congress, “Our efforts have not reduced the group’s terrorist capability and global reach.”

Ummm, Director Brennan? There’s a call for you. Some guy named Obama. He sounds mad.