The WIRE: Your week in review

From San Jose to the State Department — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest^® presents: The WIRE!

President Obama took a break from his hectic globetrotting-and-golf-games to commemorate Memorial Day, saying “As Commander-in-Chief, I have no greater responsibility than leading our men and women in uniform.”

“Except the ones I won’t admit are in Syria and the ones I left to rot in VA lines. But this guy seems handy.”

Obama did make time to commemorate the fallen on Memorial Day – the Japanese fallen. Speaking in Hiroshima, Japan, Obama apologized for dropping an atomic bomb on the country which killed millions from Nanking to Pearl Harbor. “(W)e shall not repeat the evil.”

Sorry we ended the war you started, guys.

Back on the home front, old man communism hit the wall halfway through a Memorial Day commemoration.

Come on! He’d been awake for two WHOLE hours! Besides, he was rooting for the other team.

The tragedy at UCLA drew the usual left wing vultures and their “blame guns” rhetoric. It happened in a “gun-free” zone, on a “gun-free” campus, in a “gun-free” city, in a “gun-free state,” and guns and/or the NRA is to blame? Eww-kayy.

I feel like there’s a common thread in there.

Of course, when an unvetted immigrant opened fire at UCLA, who’d they call?

Guys with guns.

Funny how none of the anti-gunners were outraged after nearly three dozen Chicagoans met their makers at the business end of guns over the Memorial Day weekend.

I thought Democrats LOVED poor, black people getting shot in Democrat-owned cities. Sells more t-shirts!

Disgraced ex-game show judge Piers Morgan tried out his best anti-gun lines, but ran smack into people who actually know what they’re talking about.

Last time a Brit took a whipping like that from Americans with guns, Cornwallis surrendered Yorktown.

So what if more kids are moving back in with mom and dad than any time in over a century, and entry-level jobs are disappearing thanks to government-mandated minimum-wage hikes? President Obama says “Our deficits haven’t grown these past seven and a half years—we’ve cut them by almost 75 percent.”

Of course, he doubled the national debt to $19 TRILLION, but that’s your kids’ problem.

As a criminal indictment closes in, a new poll shows over 75 percent of Democrats think Hillary Clinton should keep campaigning, even if she’s indicted.

And you thought Scientology was a cult.

Never mind her email troubles, Nana Hilldawg knows “It’s obvious to voters I will put National security over self-interest.”

By “voters,” she means “the hackers reading the emails I sent from the bathroom.”

New Jersey Senator Cory Booker auditioned to be the Robin to Hillary’s BatGranny this week. A woman who has imaginary enemies and a man who has imaginary friends! Clinton/Booker – a match made in imaginary heaven!

“How’s ‘T-Bone?’” “He’s fine. Dodged any ‘snipers’ lately?”

While attempting to throw shade at Donald Trump, President Obama tripped over his own teleprompter
“If-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if we fall for, you know, a bunch of okie-doke, just because, you know it-it-it. You know, it-it-it-it-it-it sounds funny or the tweets are provocative.”

“How many ‘okie-dokies’ in a bunch?”

At a stop in Indiana, Obama broke liberal hearts when he demurred after a fan shrieked “One more term!” “The Constitution prohibits it, but more importantly, Michelle prohibits it.”

If the latter changes her mind, I doubt the former would matter much.

A third-party challenge from the Libertarian Party? Maybe THIS candidate for party chairman will finally bring the LP into National contentio – er – never mind.

See you guys in 2020. Leave Fatty McBarebutt at home.

The State Department inexplicably edited James Rosen catching Jen Psaki lying out of video from a 2013 press conference on Obama’s Iran sellout. No, they didn’t. But maybe they did. OK, they did, but Psaki didn’t know about it. Except that means she’s incompetent. But it doesn’t. Does it?

No wonder liberals seem so confused all the time. As much as they lie, I feel like they should be better at it.

Out in Californistan, state legislators are pushing a bill which would make denying so-called “climate change” a crime.

“Today: ‘climate change deniers!’ Tomorrow: those ‘gravity’ pushers!”

A Donald Trump rally in San Jose turned violent when liberals launched another violent assault on Americans with whom they disagree.

Union thugs and illegal aliens. Where I come from, we call that “a target-rich environment.”

The head of the Georgia chapter of the ACLU resigned this week after her children were frightened by men in the women’s room.

She was on board until a “woman” asked her daughter for makeup tips.

And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest^®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”

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