Tuesday, 28 July 2015

‘The Donald Trump Show’

If the race for the major political parties’ presidential nominations were halted today, Republican Donald Trump would be facing Democrat Hillary Clinton for the position of leader of most of, but increasingly less of, the free world.

Flash back to the early 1980s, when Trump first burst on the scene by acting like he had just invented the real estate business in midtown Manhattan. Imagine if someone told you that about 30 years hence, the guy with the dead animal on his head who keeps bolting his name to everything in the city will be within Ohio’s Electoral College votes of the Oval Office. Furthermore, the only person who could stop him was, at that moment, the first lady of Arkansas.

You would tell the guy to check his meds. In those days, the idea of “The Donald” being a serious contender for the presidency would have been as far-fetched as the idea that the overweight “Rev.” Al Sharpton would go from getting punched out on the “Morton Downey Jr. Show” to becoming one of the closest advisers to the president of the United States. If someone had tried telling me that, I would have told them they might as well give the job to some jug-eared, Urkel-esque stoner who managed to escape law school without doing any homework.

And yet, there he is. According to the most recent polls, Trump leads the Republican field by an average of 5 points. While Clinton’s campaign is wheezing like her husband trying to explain why Ashley Madison came up on the Clinton Foundation’s credit card statement, Trump is accelerating like a freight train, albeit one that might be slightly out of control.

While I’m willing to acknowledge that the woman Daniel Wattenberg so perfectly described as “The Lady Macbeth of Little Rock” makes “The Donald” look like the right man for the job by comparison, that’s too easy. Clinton is clearly as qualified for the presidency as that moody loner down the street with the tinfoil hat is to supervise the local day care center. Put aside the scandals, missteps and outright lies that have marked her political “career.” The woman wrapped up a speech on so-called “global warming” earlier this week and immediately jumped on a private jet. Sen. Bernie Sanders’ campaign has better optics, and he thinks women fantasize about being raped.

Much to the irritation of a growing number of my acquaintances, I have not yet booked passage on the Trump bandwagon. And my objections don’t just stem from his tendency toward verbal gaffes that rival those of our human cartoon of a vice president, Joe Biden. I found Trump’s remarks about Sen. John McCain reprehensible. Say what you want about McCain’s legislative record — and I could say plenty — but mocking his time as a prisoner of war to score cheap political points is the kind of behavior I expect from lowlifes like Jane Fonda. McCain was no John Kerry, alternating between claiming to be ashamed or proud of his dubious record, depending on the audience.

He is certainly saying a lot of the right things regarding repairing our dangerously malfunctioning immigration system. And I did get a kick out of his pointed refusal to back down from the political correctness warriors. There’s no reason to continue validating liberals who spend all their time inventing labels for people and then losing their proverbial cookies every time someone says “illegal alien” instead of “undocumented but obviously wonderful person who’s really just a victim of racism.” Watching Trump lower the boom on MSNBC pundit José Diaz-Balart last week in Laredo, Texas, was magnificent. But Trump’s not the only conservative running for president who opposes the Democrats’ policy of opening our borders to incoming traffic 24/7/365, even if he’s currently the noisiest about it.

As for his domestic platform, while I will still allow that Trump could spend his time playing golf and bobbing for “bundlers” and still provide for more peace and tranquility than President Barack Obama’s more than six years of “shovel-ready jobs,” so-called “green energy” boondoggles, illegal IRS harassment, race-baiting, domestic spying and the abominable Obamacare. But again, a potted plant could outperform Obama on the home front. And it’s possible the plant in question could do it without a resume that includes multiple bankruptcies, two of which involved its personal finances.

Look, I get the attraction. Trump is absolutely unafraid to say exactly what he’s thinking at any given moment. Sometimes, he drives the open border traitors into hysterics, as he did with his now-infamous — but entirely accurate — “rapists” remark. But I worry that the reason why he’s so garrulous may have more to do with hubris than honor. I just cannot shake the feeling that Trump is just adding another chapter to the ongoing reality TV series that is most of his life. This is a guy who has spent most of his adult life acting like he needs publicity the way you and I need oxygen.

It strikes me that the eight years of Clinton’s debauchery and the eight years of Obama’s house party are things upon which we should be aiming to improve by more than just simple party affiliation and basic understanding of border security. At the very least, Trump’s six-figure donations to “causes” like The Clinton Global Money Trough Foundation deserve some extra scrutiny.

Of course, it’s only July 2015. Today’s insurmountable leads are tomorrow’s margins of defeat. Imagine if someone had told you back in the day that the fat guy who stared too long at the interns in the Arkansas Governor’s Mansion was less than a decade away from molesting the interns in the White House. That’s a lot crazier than The Donald becoming the commander in chief.

–Ben Crystal

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