Tuesday 30 August 2016

Sacked for a loss

Man, I don’t give a damn if Colin Kaepernick wants to sit on his helmet during the National Anthem. As long as I don’t get stuck with him on my fantasy football roster, I don’t give a damn if he wants to sit on the moon during the National Anthem.

Colin Kaepernick is merely another overpaid and under-educated buffoon who mistook notoriety for knowledge. Thanks to some incredibly good luck and some oddly evaporated talent, he is knocking down enough money to live like a pharaoh. But he can’t bring himself to show even a modicum of gratitude.  Instead, he decided to make a show of thumbing his nose at the millions of people — of all races — who fork over the dough needed to pay him to throw interceptions in the NFL.

He’s yet another in the long line of incredibly privileged people who seem blissfully unaware of the fact that without the nation he finds so offensively oppressive, he’d be plying his trade in significantly less opulent surroundings.  What Kaepernick misses, much like the battalion of celebrities who share his unhinged anti-Americanism, is the fact that without this rat’s nest of racist vermin, he’d be throwing interceptions in his backyard.  What far too many of the rest of us miss is the fact that Colin Kaepernick’s opinion is only as meaningful — or meaningless, depending on your perspective – as the ones he dismissed so easily.

I suppose it might be nice if Kaepernick, or any one of the babbling celebrities who have made hating America “cool,” might once hear the “Star Spangled Banner” and reflect on how lucky they are to live in a country which not only built the stages upon which they perform, but pays to sit through those performances.  Since that’s as likely to happen as Kaepernick is to return to all-pro form, I can console myself with the thought that Kaepernick’s right to turn his back on America is neatly countered by our right to turn our backs on him.

Perhaps it’s a consequence of the American tendency to assign more value to fame than wisdom, but there’s no rule that demands we obsess over the idiotic ranting of a third string football player.  Every left wing nut job with a smartphone and opposable thumbs has every right to stand up for every mega-wealthy superstar who stomps on the flag; just as I have every right to tell them that their thumbs are probably the smartest part of the equation.

Kaepernick has every right to protest against the inequality faced on a daily basis by washed up NFL players; just as I have every right to point out that nine figures is a pretty good haul for holding Blaine Gabbert’s water bottle.  And the San Francisco 49ers have every right to pay Kaepernick north of $100 million to keep the starters hydrated; just as I have every right to point out why payouts like that are a big part of the reason the 49ers are years past the days of Joe Montana and Jerry Rice filling the lobby with big trophies.  Of course, I’d be remiss were I not to also point out that the 49ers have every right to cut Kaepernick and replace him with a backup punter.  At least the punter would appreciate being there.

— Ben Crystal

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