For a theory that has been repudiated by actual circumstance so often that its proponents change its name as frequently as Hillary Clinton changes pantsuits, so-called “global warming” has managed to hang on as stubbornly as a brain-damaged sociopath who has been running for president since her husband molested his first intern.
Moreover, it has managed to infest every crevice of social discourse like a particularly hard-to-eradicate foot fungus in a poorly-sanitized locker room. Perhaps that’s why the standard regressive responses to so-called “climate deniers” tend toward nonsensical ad-hominem remarks like “climate deniers,” rather than scientific debate. More to the point, that’s why even something as theoretically non-political as the Olympic opening ceremonies can’t get through the song-and-dance section without a nod to the least-supported-by-evidence “science” since phrenology.
True to form, the opening ceremonies of the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro spent an entire segment yammering about the dangers presented to the world by Al Gore’s inconvenient hoax. While we waited for Michael Phelps to tack another dozen or so gold medals to the side of the pool, or Giselle Bundchen to saunter through the stadium, the Rio Olympics show runners swung away from the singing, dancing and strutting to lecture the rest of us. Because that’s what the world wanted, more alarmism about a theory which averages a name change every decade or so, rather than the world’s finest athletes and supermodels being athletic and supermodel-y.
Ignore the fact that Rio is a dump. Look beyond the fact that the Games opened with incomplete, even unsanitary facilities. Forget about the sad-but-true warnings about the lack of potable water and safe venues. Don’t even mention the very real threat of exotic tropical diseases and Islamic terrorism. Instead, focus on the climatological hokum being spread thick over the third world’s first Olympics.
Our country is more divided than it has been in 150 years. The world reels from daily assaults launched by Islamic terrorists, and we’re not even allowed to acknowledge their existence, much less the horrors they visit upon us. The (only) Black Lives Matter thugs have turned our own cities into war zones.
The current president has torched the national credit cards to the tune of close to $20 trillion, and all we have to show for it is a few minimum wage jobs and a world that looks at the United States the way most people look at their crazy uncle who keeps showing up uninvited on holidays. And the Democratic Party and Republican Party, theoretically responsible for providing an individual who can lead us through these increasingly hazardous waters, scanned the resumes of hundreds of millions of Americans and came up with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.
And even a two-week celebration of the spirit of youthful exuberance and pure athletic talent couldn’t make it to the starting line without delivering a non-sequitur harangue about a theory which, from a scientific perspective, compares poorly to geocentric astronomy. Yippee; everything is terrible.
— Ben Crystal
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