The WIRE: Your week in review

From Portland to Pakistan — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest^® presents: The WIRE!

The hapless dupe who turned the U.S. into a second-rate global power is backing the sociopath who helped him do it; still makes you wonder why he’d back her, considering he beat her in an acrimonious 2008 campaign in which Hillary started the “birther” rumors and implied he might not survive his first term.

“OK, Hillary. I endorsed you. Now, can I have my dog back?”

Although she had technically yet to win California when the AP called the race for Hillary, her party and media sycophants raced out to claim her “victory” was “historic.”

Technically true — it’s the first time a major party has nominated someone under federal investigation.

Of course, the FBI investigation into the old girl’s multiple national security violations continues.

Today: “Striding into history!”
Tomorrow: Striding into Cell Block D.

Hillary celebrated her primary victory by tweeting “To every little girl who dreams big: Yes, you can be anything you want — even president. Tonight is for you.”

“…unless you’re pro-life, conservative or have been raped by my husband.”

Although he already secured immunity, Bryan Pagliano, the IT guy who set up the email server Nana hid in the bathroom, told the court that he “fears prosecution” if he testifies against the old girl.

And by “prosecution” he means — ahem — “Fort Marcy Park.”

More accounting irregularities at the mega-money Clinton Foundation. Hillary did admit this week that multiple “donations” to her “foundation” may have “slipped through the cracks.”

Don’t worry, boys. You’ll still get your F-15s.

Late in the week, Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren endorsed Nana; hardly a surprise, considering Warren has obviously been auditioning for the VP slot for months.

The nod gives Hillary a lock on the all-important “pretend native American” vote.

Warren took her war dance a step further, accusing Donald Trump of racism.

Like that time Trump pretended to be Native American to advance his career… oh… wait.

Already the most-overturned of the Federal Appeals Courts, the 9th Circuit took aim at the Bill of Rights this week, claiming that the 2nd Amendment does not cover concealed carry.

How the hell did these guys make it through law school without learning what “shall not be infringed” means?

During a sit down with longtime Clinton stooge George Stephanopolous, Hillary hit a snag when she admitted she doesn’t believe the Bill of Rights applies to individuals.

That ought to disqualify her from Presidential contention; except in *certain* countries.

Not only has Katie Couric’s anti-liberty film “Under the Gun” been completely discredited, it turns out the producers may have violated multiple firearm laws while cobbling it together. That’s fraud, libel and now federal felonies.

Before this is over, Katie and the gang will have to write a check with more zeroes than (not really) Everytown for Gun Safety.

As it turns out, Nana delivered her victory speech in April’s New York primary — which included the usual platitudes about how much she cares about poor people — while wearing an Armani coat worth $12,000.

Or, as Michelle Obama calls it: dressing down.

Welcome to the big-time, Brock Turner! The Stanford rapist got publicly flayed after receiving sentence of less than six months for raping a fellow Cardinal student. He should have known, there’s no mitigating factor when it comes to rape.

Hey y’all. Let’s not be hasty.

Turner’s father took a bunch of heat as well, after describing his son’s crime as “20 minutes of action.”

“Twenty minutes? I could never keep them unconscious that long.”
“I could.”

In Pakistan, a woman doused her own daughter in kerosene and burned her to death. Her crime: Not marrying the Muslim man chosen for her.

Only because it’s Ramadan. The rest of the year, she would have just had the Imam stone her to death.

With his long-shot campaign circling the bowl, Bernie Sanders got a “come to Barry” call to report to the White House.

“Hey Bernie, do you like fishing? I heard about this great spot in Lake Tahoe…”

The Portland, Oregon government schools have officially banned books which point out that the theory of global warming has some major holes.

Replacing science with science fiction? Preparing kids for that robust “gender studies” job market.

And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest^®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”

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