‘Twas the night before Christmas 2015

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and in the White House
Not a cretin was stirring; not even Sharpton, that louse.
There were no stockings, no presents, no cheer,
Since half of them were on the “no-fly” list that year.

The staffers were back in their holes for the night,
The Obamas? Hawaii, on separate flights.
Nana Hilldawg in a pantsuit, and Bill with some hooker.
“Whatever,” said Nana. “Not like he’s such a looker.”

When outside the compound arose quite a clatter,
But nobody cared about what was the matter.
“It’s probably ‘gun violence,’ they said with a shrug
“These Democrat cities are teeming with thugs.”

The moon on the grass of the White House Ellipse
Was no match for the klieg lights’ apocalypse.
They lit up an old man, all warm and all fleecy,
Who’d enslaved eight reindeer — an unwilling species!

The little old driver, a kind-looking fellow,
Was no match for Valerie Jarrett’s shrill bellow:
“Down on your knees, you creepy old freak!
Ain’t no white guy supposed to be up here this week!”

Jeh Johnson and Lerner and AG Loretta!
It’s time to teach people that we just know better!
Enough with this Christian holiday theme!
It’s time for Muhammad to make this his scene!
In San Bernardino, Ground Zero, Fort Hood,
The real lesson is that all Muslims are good.

So enough with Christians and caroling yammer,
This “Santa” cat needs to spend time in the slammer!
At universities, schools and even at college
We’ve replaced all that stuff that we used to call knowledge

Now they make sheep, all outrage and noise,
But we need much more than just girls and just boys.
We need to think bigger, let everyone know
When it comes to those Christians, the answer is “No!”

No more of your Savior, your Jesus, your Lamb,
It hurts Akbar’s feelings, and that ain’t right, man.
We’ll take all their guns, those white, right-wing zealots!
And put a huge tax on their shells and their bullets!

We’ll take “assault weapons,” whatever those are.
And we’ll make them all drive eco-friendly, “green” cars!
We’ll give them “free” healthcare;
At least, that’s what we’ll claim.

And if they object
Then “racism’s” to blame
So what if Vlad Putin becomes the big cheese,
And we’ve mortgaged the country to the commie Chinese.

Obama can’t handle the Mideast sands shifting,
Better let Vlad do the heavy lifting!
We’ll cheat our own people, if that’s what it takes,
To elect Nana Clinton and her posse of snakes.

Four more years of Obama, it might as well be,
And it’s all because we know much better than thee!
Then Santa escaped, and took Christmas with him,
the smile on his face gone all sour and grim.

“I’ve plenty to do, far away from your jeers.
Good luck selling Kwanzaa to white kids next year!”

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