Let’s make a deal

Wednesday was not a good day to be a Democrat. Already struggling with an electorate that has slammed the door in its face and locked the deadbolt, the party that has given us a record 100 million unemployed Americans, an $18 trillion dollar national debt, Chicago’s murder rate and a tsunami of illegal aliens, learned that the only guy standing between it and the business end of 2016 has decided to call it a career.

Vice President Joe Biden, already the most unfortunate political “plan B” since George McGovern’s 1972 “campaign,” made the official announcement at a press conference just a few yards from the spot in which his boss crowed about trading five Taliban serial killers for one sniveling deserter. “Unfortunately, I believe we’re out of time — the time necessary to mount a winning campaign for the nomination.”

Biden’s sudden bailout left our port-side pals staring at a world in which Hillary Clinton is their nominee. I know; they still have that crazy old communist senator from the great state of Ben and Jerry’s, that guy from Rhode Island who always looks lost, and the dude who plays in a cover band in Maryland. But the big money billionaires who run the Democratic Party will back Nana Hilldawg. She’s one of their own; and besides, she knows where all the bodies are buried — perhaps literally. And that means they have to do things like hold indignant press conferences in which they demand Hillary be compensated for her time.

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, who is already set to retire in complete disgrace, said in a letter to Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus that was also signed by Sens. Richard J. Durbin of Illinois, Charles E. Schumer of New York and Patty Murray of Washington: “We firmly believe the committee should be disbanded, and that every penny of taxpayer money that has financed this purely political committee ought to be repaid.”

I’ll hand it to the old fellow; he is absolutely shameless. I doubt many people note the irony of such a complaint falling out of the piehole of a guy like Reid, who rather famously lied about Mitt Romney’s tax status and later shrugged off the slander, saying: “He didn’t win, did he?”

With that in mind, let’s cut a deal with the Democrats. All they need to do is reimburse the taxpayers for the literal trillions of dollars wasted on:

• Obamacare
• So-called “global warming”
• So-called “green energy” boondoggles
• Operation Fast and Furious
• The “training program” that produced four (Four!) anti-ISIS “moderate” fighters
• The disastrous deal to give Iran access to nuclear weapons
• Obama’s illegal NSA domestic spying
• Obama’s politically motivated IRS harassment
• “Sanctuary cities” for homicidal illegal aliens
• The destruction of places like Ferguson, Missouri, and Baltimore by racist thugs

If the Democrats can square up those accounts, then maybe we can chat about scraping together a few bucks to assuage the Hillary clan’s ruffled feathers. Of course, by the time they can beg, borrow and steal that kind of scratch, Reid, Clinton and the rest of the old white people who currently own the party of Jim Crow will be drooling in their pudding at the old Democrats’ home.

In the meantime, I would suggest that the Democrats focus on more pressing issues than the Benghazi committee hearings — like the visitation schedule at whichever federal prison ends up hosting Hillary in her twilight years.

–Ben Crystal

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